Despite what myself and many people seem to think, people can change. This post is about my grandfather and what a truly amazing man he is.

My grandfather was born and raised in The Great Depression era and to this day he still eats every last bite of food on his plate. He wanted to serve in the army during World War II, but a heart defect prevented his tour overseas. A man built of American pride and honor, he is steeped in tradition, which although may be admirable on some level, there is another side as well.

My whole life I have always heard the rationalizations of, "oh it was just a different time" or "back in those days we never talked about anything", and be this as it may, I do not consider these justifications appropriate to condone closed minded thinking that seems to have been so normal during this time period and which still continues today.

Although my grandfather has never been overtly racist or homophobic, he certainly had his beliefs and opinions. He did not support biracial marriage until two of the best cousins/grandchildren a family could have who were both adopted and happened to be the product of interracial relationships, this prejudice was softened in him.

Along these same lines, my grandfather did not support homosexual lifestyles. A cousin of mine came out 30 years ago and I am told that my grandfather gave him the 'cold shoulder' after he came out. Backstory: my grandfather has always been a very sensitive man, despite his many prejudices, and has been known to cry on many occasions. To further his sentiment, about 8 years ago, my grandfather sustained a heart "event" as he calls it, so severe that he actually flat lined and was proclaimed dead. Well 8 years later he is still fighting, despite two knee replacements, a minor stroke and a major hernia.

After this heart event, my sister and I always remark on how much more sensitive Papa had become. Surprising us with random phone calls simply to tell us he loved us for no special reason or occasion. Even though Papa has always been a sensitive man, he never had children of his own and he is technically my step-grandfather, he has always loved his grandchildren so severly that I have always considered him to be biological family.

Two years ago now, I realized I was gay and came out to my family. I have never been shy or ashamed of who I am but there was great discussion as to whether or not I should come out to Papa. The general consensus among my immediate family was that Papa is old and that I shouldn't tell him for my own sake. That I wouldn't want to alienate myself from him during his last years.

Being the firey, pugnacious individual that I am prone to be, I first interpreted this as being cowardly. I didn't want to lie about or hide who I am and I wanted to be able to be open about my life, all of my life. Once I calmed down and thought about the logistics of this however, I came to agree with my family. My romantic life was never really a topic of conversation shared with Papa anyway and my coming out to him was not in fact a priority.

Backstory part 2: My grandparents have always had a summer cabin that we as a family have traditionally visited each summer (I took my first steps in this exact cabin). As my grandparents have aged they have decided to sell the cabin because no one else in our family would use it as much so last year we had a mini family reunion to celebrate our memories of the times spent in the woods. My cousin, the one who had come out 30 years ago, attended this reunion and was able to interact with my grandfather. Apparently after this long weekend, my grandfather called my cousin and apologized for treating him the way he had and told him he was thankful for their time together because he realized what a wonderful man he is.

My family saw this incident as an opportunity to welcome Papa into my situation as well. This past summer my parents visited the cabin and my mom told me that she and my father had been considering telling my grandparents about my sexuality. They thought that it might be easier for Papa to digest if I wasn't there and so I decided to give my parents the green light to out me.

The day I knew my parents were returning to town, I missed a phone call from my grandfather while I was at work. He left me a message and asked me to call him when I had a chance. On my way home from work I called Papa and he told me that he had had a wonderful weekend with my parents. More specifically however he wanted to tell me that he loved me and supported me and was proud of me. He continued on to say that he realized that love is love and that is what is most important-that it doesn't matter who you love but that you love and are loved. Through tears, he then apologized for taking 84 years to come to this realization and for acting so cold and closed minded throughout his life and I reassured him that what mattered was that he was able to open his mind and at 84, that is a pretty amazing thing.

We cried together and I thanked him for his support and he reminded me that that was it-he supported me and my life. Honestly I was very shocked to receive such an immediatley warm response to my revelation, but knowing Papa's kind heart despite all of his many prejudices, I'm not too shocked that he was able to come around. I called my sister and mom and we all cried together on the phone and I promptly sent a 'thank-you' card to my grandparents thanking them for their love and support.

I realize that unfortunatley not all people who have been or are closed off to homosexual lifestyles eventually open their hearts and minds, but people can and do change. My 84 year old grandfather is a testament to this. Many people say that it just takes knowing one LGTBQ person to change the mind of someone and I know this to be true from my experience. Love is a powerful thing and does in fact have the power to open even the most closed off of hearts.

Mia