I didn't have my first girlfriend till I was 22. Because of this, I had to both find myself and find out who I was with a partner at a later age than most people do. And how difficult it was to be in my mid 20s and trying to figure out how to be with someone, when I feel like that was something I should have learned at an earlier age, like in high school or college. Once I was 22, I had my first girlfriend and then was a serial monogamist. I always had someone on the back burner. I didn't get to ever go through the young adult thing by myself. A part of that was because of the late start I had, and then all of the serious relationships.

Every person I dated, even the bad ones, the ones I realized that I was not compatible with at all, I have taken so many wonderful things from each relationship. Through each relationship, I learned what I want in a partner. So I was finding out who I wanted to be with and what I didn't want; but, I was lacking who I was myself.

It wasn't until my late 20s, when I finally knew what I was looking for, and at that point was able to break off a relationship knowing that it was the right choice, knowing that I didn't need someone waiting in the wings. And now that I had that idea of who the person I was looking for, I could stop looking and focus on myself. This was at age 29 where I realized that I am pretty awesome and am fine being alone.

And then, I was at that really good place, when my perfect someone stumbled in. My message of hope would be that despite having an alternative lifestyle or being gay and growing up in Kansas and not realizing it until college, no matter how late the start, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We had a GSA but no one was out and I wasn't able to explore it. I was only 19.

After college I moved to Virginia, a brand new place with a first girlfriend and I was finally able to completely live that lifestyle. I didn't know anybody in Virginia and I didn't have to explain it to anybody.

It was a late start. It was really confusing. It felt like I didn't have that background of anyone in high school or college so I had nothing. There was however, a light at the end of my tunnel. I didn't see it until I was almost 30. The process of self-discovery for me was put second to what I wanted and needed in a partner.

Regardless of what gender you date, or what age you are, when it begins, it is necessary to stay true to yourself and what you need and what you want out of your life and what your goals and aspirations are. This crosses all boundaries of anyone in any relationship. This is something that I learned through the entirety of my 20s and evaluating the trials and tribulations of my dating past. That was the longest class I took. But I got there. That is the most important thing.

Suzanne