The other night I went out to dinner with a friend and we got to talking about when we came out and how exciting that time was for us. I can remember feeling giddy and excited about life-even though I was 25, I felt just like a teenager again.

I can remember feeling like I had entered a whole new world that I had never known about before. All of a sudden a light bulb had gone off and I finally understood what everyone had been talking about for years. I thought I had liked men and was attracted to them, I mean, everyone else was so I should have been too right?

When I realized that I liked women, in that moment, it was like time stopped. How had I never known this before? In that moment I was so sure and it made such sense, I couldn't believe that this was a surprise to me. Five years later, I am still surprised that it took me so long. I am a lesbian, the signs were there from early childhood, but I never made the connections.

This past week I also attended a training on teaching students with learning disabilities in which the facilitator literally conducted a lesson that a room full of educators participated in. As a group, we were given a few directions on how to complete the lesson and what the expectations were. Like the obedient educators we are, we followed his directions completely.

At the end of the lesson, the facilitator asked us why we did not deviate from his expectations. Yes he had given us some specific rules to follow but aside from those rules, there had been no other expectations. As he asked us, we began to laugh because admittedly deviating from the exact outlined expectations had never even occurred to us.

Upon leaving work, I thought more about why people tend to follow the path that is laid out for them, rather than taking a less trod path or even blazing a path of their own. I thought about myself and the path I had taken to discovering my true sexuality and how bumpy and curvy it had been. Yes I agree that it is the journey that is important, not the destination, and no I have no regrets; but all the same, knowing that there were other paths I could have taken would have been a relief for me.

Sure there have been trailblazers, thank goodness for them, who have forged paths where there were none. Maybe I should have been more self reliant and found my own path even when I felt that there wasn't one provided to me.

I cannot blame society, and that is not my intention, but I can point out this simple fact: today, there are still thousands of individuals, like myself ten years ago, that do not know that living a homosexual lifestyle is an option for them. Furthermore, there are many that are told that they cannot participate in this lifestyle or there will be grave consequences for there are many that still belief that there is only one path that everyone should follow.

I have written on the importance of coming out and acknowledging all forms of sexual identity but there are still many who believe that this information is not important and should not be discussed. Once again, I argue that it is. Knowing that there are multiple different sexual identities and affiliations could spare many questioning individuals years of confusion, fear and shame.

This society is filled with both direct as well as indirect messages promoting heterosexual lifestyles which as a result suggests that this is the preferred or expected sexual identity to identify as. What many people don't understand is that at some point everyone comes out at least once in his or her life. From engagement announcements to introducing a partner, any time someone speaks about his or her partner, that person is declaring his or her sexuality. In this society, declaring heterosexuality is not seen as declaring a sexuality however; this is just the expected behavior.

Along these lines, there are many that argue homosexual or transgender lifestyles should not be discussed with children because they are too impressionable. Speaking from experience, some part of me knew I was attracted to girls at a very young age and I had no idea what a homosexual was. Exposing children to homosexual lifestyles does not cause harm, attempting to deter them from what feels natural is.

Opponents are right, children are impressionable. They look to their family, friends and loved ones to teach and direct them. Children are simple. If they are taught to love, then they will love. If they are taught to hate well then they will hate. Not only will children learn to hate others but they also may learn to hate themselves as well. I know many that have hated themselves because they did not fit into the expected path that was laid out before them.

Diversity is a beautiful thing and society should reflect the diversity of those that live within it. Every option should be discussed so that those who know they are on a different path, they will not feel abnormal or like a freak. Not all people walk along the same path of life and this should be celebrated, not feared. And once that path has been walked upon, each step should be celebrated and supported with love, even though the path may be different.

Mia