So on the eve of what has become the most important election of my life to date, and being sick to my stomach thinking about the potential outcome, I have decided to take a break from incessantly checking political updates every 5 minutes and instead take a moment to pause and reflect on what I am grateful for, seeing that this is the month in which 'thanks' is observed.

My first thought was being grateful for our brave forefathers and mothers of the LGTBQI community that have forged this fight. The courage they had for standing up, loud and proud against severe and pervasive hate and discrimination and paving the road for me today. These individuals are the reason why I can live my life out with my girlfriend without major fear of being injured physically, emotionally and mentally as well as live in a time when the President of the United States has come out stating that there should be equal rights for all, including marriage for the LGTBQI community.

Reflecting on President Obama and the decision he made to come out himself, made me realize how very thankful I am for the Allied straight community that is fighting just as hard, if not harder, to earn equal rights for the LGTBQI-ers. President Obama took a huge risk in speaking publicly about legalizing marriage for all because this is still a very controversial issue today. Many argued that this was a political tactic in order to mobilize the LGTBQI into voting for him, and be this as it may, there were and still are just as many people outside the community that are on the fence or entirely opposed to this issue that he may have further polarized with his announcement. Plain and simple he took a risk because no one before him made such a huge statement of support.

My girlfriend and I were discussing straight allies and she made a very interesting point that had not occurred to me. She argued that straight people have their own moments of coming out when they acknowledge that they have LGTBQI family members, friends and loved ones. Sure this coming out experience may not be as difficult for straight people, but they still risk judgement, ridicule, backlash and being ostracized y members of their community when coming out in support of LGTBQI rights.

On May 9th, 2012, President Barack Obama came out to the United States of America that he is in support of legalizing marriage for all. After following President Obama for years even before his presidency, I know that this has been an issue that he has struggled with and did not initially support. Over time he said, and after speaking with families of LGTBQI people, he came to realize that we are no different. That we deserve the same basic rights and happiness that the members of the straight community have.

Another important straight ally that deserves recognition is Ted Olson, the Republican lawyer working to overturn Prop 8 that banned marriage for all in the State of California after it had been approved 8 months earlier. Ted Olson has been quoted saying that "gay marriage is not a liberal or conservative issue, rather that it is an American issue." Legalizing marriage for all notoriously is associated with the liberal parties and more often than not, many conservative parties either shy away from this issue or damn it all together. Despite the fact that Olson identifies as a straight member of a conservative party, he is still working hard to guarantee legal rights for a community that as of now has very few.

I have the privilege and fortune of knowing many wonderful straight allies that are even more loud about equal rights than I am. What makes my heart swell with love is the compassion and empathy that these individuals have for me and the LGTBQI community. Unfortunately I have found in my experience that humans tend to be somewhat narcissistic and selfish creatures with the mentality of 'how does this best serve me.' As a result, unless someone is personally affected by an issue, he or she may not have an awareness of the sensitive nature of the issue at hand.

Take the Chick-Fil-A controversy that emerged this past fall. When Dan Cathy came out and stated that he believed in 'traditional marriage between one man and one woman' and that he did in fact donate monetary proceeds to groups that have worked hard to limit the rights and freedoms of the LGTBQI community, I will admit that many of my straight friends did not seem, to me, to have compassion for me. Many of my straight friends considered this to simply be an act of freedom of speech, which is protected under the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution; and yes, although Dan Cathy has every right to say what he wants, his actions is where the problem stemmed. His actions were donating millions of dollars to groups that promote intolerance and many of my friends could not see how their $5 purchase, which would go to Cathy's profits and then into his donations, could make much of a difference.

From my perspective, for things to change, action must take place. I believe that much of my generation is complicit and jaded. I hear over and over again how 'voting doesn't matter' and that 'nothing will ever change anyway' but I agree to disagree. Take the Civil Rights Movement for example. Here was an entire population of people that had absolutely no rights in the nation for generations and through organized movement they were able to enact change. When Rosa Parks refused to move from her seat on the bus that day, movement started. The Montgomery Bus Boycott was the answer to the discrimination she faced and this movement was in fact successful. Because enough people protested by car pooling, biking or walking to their destinations, the bus department suffered and laws were changed.

Sure this may seem like one small example in the scheme of all of history, but it is an important one. People of African-American decent were not the only ones protesting; people of Caucasian decent were protesting too. These individuals were risking their physical safety and in some instances their lives to stand up to injustice.

I digress. Throughout the whole Chick-Fil-A drama I kept citing this historical movement to argue that yes in fact if each person does stop buying from this restaurant then the money will add up and Dan Cathy could in fact be affected. Along these same lines, I cannot help but bring up my straight friends that claim they support LGTBQI rights but are voting for Romney tomorrow. Romney has come out publicly stating that he believes marriage is between one man and one woman and that there are gay families having children and that is not right. Romney is in favor of less government interference in personal lives, but is more than willing to write a federal amendment to the Constitution defining marriage between one man and one woman. I understand that legalizing marriage for all is not the only issue on the platform this election and that there are many other issues at hand, but to me this is a drastically important issue of human rights.

I can not count on one hand the members of the LGTBQI community that have been physically assaulted simply for being affectionate in public or for dressing in what was comfortable for him or her. Suicides within the LGTBQI community have been on the rise due to discrimination and hate. Deaths resulting from hate crimes still occur not to mention physical mutilations as well as acts of other torture. We still live in a nation where marriage is legal for all in only six states but in 23 states a person can have sex with a horse legally. I cannot even begin to express just how demeaning and infuriating this fact it.

Another aspect of this issue of human rights is happiness free from discrimination. Marriage provides many legal protections that civil unions do not and which many people are not aware of. Becoming legally married provides for hospital visitation rights, tax cuts, joint custody and survivor benefits, just to name a few. Many people are not in favor of full marriage but suggest civil unions are the way to go. Unfortunately, civil unions lack close to 1,200 legal protections that full legal marriage provides for. Some people argue that it is simply a piece of paper and that it shouldn't matter, but in the cases of survivors of partners that have died while in combat who are not receiving benefits and the non biological parent of a same-sex family, these rights become life changing.

For the most part I have led a discrimination-free and supported lesbian lifestyle, but this last year I was discriminated against at my work. It got ugly and facts were twisted, people lied and my job was ultimately threatened simply for standing up for myself and for the open gay students at my school. In the end I was told that homophobic slurs are no big deal because today in society although people may say them, there is no harm intended. (Mind you this was my initial complaint to HR and this was the findings they produced from their investigation).

It has been a year and I am still deeply affected by the lack of support and persecution I experienced at this former employer. Remembering my experiences there still make me sick to my stomach and makes my blood boil. Because of the discrimination I experienced I questioned and doubted myself. Not only did myself become affected, but I started to lose faith in people and distrust them automatically. When encountering a new situation my walls are up and I am prepared to defend myself in a fight because of what I experienced. I have been deeply changed because of this place and I am still working on getting myself back.

There was one woman in particular who stood up for me and by my side at this place of employment. Yes there were many people that voiced support for me which meant the world, but this one woman took her support to a new level and told our supervisors that the was I was being treated was unacceptable. I do not speak with this woman anymore, our lives have grown apart, but I was be forever grateful for the kindness and support she offered me. I had never felt so alone in my life as I did then, and her verbal actions gave me a glimmer of hope that I was in fact not alone.

In my field we are taught that giving no response is a silent approval. I could not agree more with this statement. I have no problem standing up for myself and my community, I have plenty of practice, but it means so much when a straight person stands up for me. Sure I will stand up for myself, it is expected. It is my fight. But when a straight person stands up and defends me, it is not his or her fight but he or she is still saying the discrimination is not alright. This person risks his or her physical, mental and emotional safety for my well being. This is an act of profound selflessness.

I can say from experience that standing up to injustice is terrifying, especially when the fight is not yours and for this reason I am and will always be eternally grateful for the straight allies in the community fighting for equal rights and treatment. For outing themselves in their support. For the PFLAG moms and dads. For the members of GSAs in schools around the country. For the first grade teacher that breaks down gender stereotypes when one of her students is presenting gender identity confusion or questioning. For the father that wore a skirt in public because his son chose to wear a skirt that day. For the friends that have invited me to their weddings in which I have paid much money to attend and recognizing that I do not have this right and hope that I will someday. For the friends that have asked that for birthday presents, donations be made to organizations fighting for marriage equality. For the people that may have been uncertain at first but over time have come to acceptance and found love again.

I will admit that sometimes I become lost in my fear, sorrow, pain and anger and I do not always see that good that is being done and progress that is being made; but tonight I feel that it is important to recognize all that our straight community has in fact done for us. We cannot win this fight without them and should not. They are very much a part of our community as the rest of the LGTBQI and I feel that often times they are left out. I know many wonderful parents, siblings, educators, mentors, employers, activists that are straight and fighting and I do not want their fight to be unnoticed and unheard.

So in closing to all of the straight allies out there, I am grateful for you. For your confidence, courage, determination, compassion and empathy. For thinking about others than yourselves and for possibly even putting them before yourself. I love you more than words can say.

Thank you

Mia