When I met her, I was talking to another girl. I was at a Super Bowl party a couple of years ago and she kept coming up to me because she thought my name sounded like a TV show, which annoyed me because she wouldn't let it go. I still remember everything about her from that night. She told me she had never been to Tracks and I wondered how that was possible and she told me she had just moved here from Utah. My intentions at this point were innocent. We all decided to go to Tracks and I was going with the girl whom I was talking with but as soon as we got there, Ashlynn and I ended up in the bathroom stall alone together. I admit, not my best moment, but not in the least do I regret it.

After that night we were inseperable. I fell hard and fast for Ashlynn. We started dating and we would do ridiculous things together like "40s Disney Nights". We would get 40s and watch Disney movies all night. We liked the same ridiculous things. I knew she loved me as much as I did her.

After a few months she moved in with me and my son and then we moved into our own place downtown. It was very soon after this when I got very sick and I was denying that I was sick at all. I wouldn't go into the hospital and I wouldn't get treated. I was denying all of it. It was her that found me a doctor that I would actually go see. That doctor is the one that diagnosed me and started treating me and it was because of her that I started getting treated and am probably still alive.

It is an illness that affects her just as much as it affects me. And it's an illness that will never go away. She took over everything. She never complained. She did everything. There were days where I couldn't go to work, or pick up my son from school. One day she left work early to pick up my son from school for me. It was extremely hard, it's still just as hard. But she never left my side. She was amazing.

After about a year of me being really sick I realized what I was really doing to her and one day without a reason or an explanation, I just left. She was devastated. I never really knew if I was making the right decision or not but I knew I couldn't have her doing this anymore. I knew she needed to be taking care of herself. I started dating other girls right away. I dated a lot honestly. All of them ready and willing to take care of me. But I wouldn't allow it and I was hospitalized three times in a single year. Ashlynn and I remained close over this year and everytime I was in need she was who I turned to. Every hospital stay she was there with me and would bring me Happy Meals-my only request. I never lost my love for her. I just knew I wasn't supposed to be with her. She got into a serious relationship with another girl and that only reaffirmed my feelings.

Today it's been a year, we're both single and we're at a place now where I'm relatively healthy but I still seek treatment for my illness. We're still talking and I'm not sure if it's going to go anywhere. But we're seeing if we can still have good times after everything we've been through.

What's been so important for me is that she has stood by me through everything. Illness, leaving her and me not always being there. When I left her I started dating other girls and I know I hurt her really bad. Part of me was trying to hurt her because she gave up everything to take care of me and I didn't want her to give up her life anymore. Through all of this she is still a part of my life. I don't know what will happen between us in the future but our relationship over the years has shown me that true love can overcome great obstacles. I know that she will be a part of my life even if we don't end up together, in a positive way.

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