I've been fortunate. I was raised in the Bay Area, one of the most liberal and accepting hubs of this country. Although I was in Colorado, a much more conservative environment than what I was used to in California, when I came out, all of my friends and family could not have been more supportive and accepting. My parents were more concerned about me moving further east than being a lesbian and when NYC legazlied gay marriage this past summer, I got text messages from each member of my family telling me that they loved me and were so happy for the exciting progress.

I have very little idea of what it is like to come out with the fear of being kicked out or disowned. Coming out in Colorado has burst my safety bubble however and I have experienced much discrimination being out in this state. The place where I encounter the most discrimination just so happens to be my place of employment.

I am a Literature Teacher at a treatment facility for at-risk youth and have been working with this population for three and a half years now. Not all of these students are homophobic, but many of these students often make homophobic and discriminatory remarks without hesitation. At first my tactics were to simply redirect the behavior and ask students to use less offensive words when expressing their feelings. Along these lines whenever a situation presented itself, I would make sure to try and educate the students about why saying remarks such as, 'that's so gay!' or 'that's so homo!' are not appropriate because being an educator I know the power of fighting ignorance with education. Not to make excuses for the student's offensive behaviors, but many of them have had little to no role modeling and as a result on some level they do not know better.

I was not in the closet at work, but I also didn't wear a badge that stated, "Hi my name is Mia and I'm a lesbian" either. One day however, when prompting my students about using appropriate and respectful language that does not put down an entire population of people, one of my students asked me, "are you gay?" and without thinking I responded, "yup I sure am."

Two days later I witnessed a pretty amazing incident in which a student was making homophobic statements in class and the student that had questioned my sexuality replied, "dude, don't say that! Those words are offensive!" I was completely stunned. Not only had he stood up against one of his peers, which rarely happens at my job, but he had also defended me in front of that peer. I pulled that student out of class and thanked him for standing up for me and for holding his peer accountable. This was truly one of the most meaningful moments of my teaching career to date.

Since this particular incident, I don't know if the support he gave me in turn gave me a new sense of confidence or if my anger has finally gotten the better of me; but whenever a student makes a disrespectful remark towards the GLTBQ community my response is this, "I'm gay, please don't disrespect me." It's been very interesting to watch student's reactions to my reponse, but mostly, the students redirect and move on. Sometimes I even get an apology haha.

There has been one more particular situation that has given me a sense of pride and strengthened my confidence about me and my homosexuality. In the year and a half that I have been working at this particular facility, there has been one student that has attended the school as a day treatment client for the entire time I have taught at the facility. This specific student has always been very open about disliking gay people, stating how perverted and disgusting they are and how they deserve to go to Hell. After working together for so long this student and I have a good, solid relationship. One day he made one of his notorious anti-gay comments and I looked at him in the eye and told him I was gay and would appreciate it if he would not disrespect me. His eyes grew wide and his mouth literally dropped. I didn't pay much attention and continued with my lesson. At the end of that day, he came up to me and gave me a hug and our relationship has been just as strong since it was before I came out to him. Furtheremore, whenever he begins to make a comment that sounds like it could be homophobic, he now catches himself before completing the remark. I can tell he is trying to change some of his habits.

As I stated earlier, I have no idea what it is like to come out initially to a family that may not be supportive and I know that one should only come out when he or she is ready and for no one but for him or herself. When I started coming out so bluntly to the students however, and even though I have been out for two years now, I still get nervous about the potential onslaught of disrespect, judgement and hate that can come from revealing my sexuality. At the end of the day I like who I am and I know not to take the student's hurtful words personal, but sometimes I can't help but be affected.

If I have learned one thing about coming out in the face of discrimination it is to be confident and proud about who I am, even if my confidence maybe faltering at the moment. I've observed and have been flat out told that because I am confident and not ashamed of who I am, even if people do not agree with my homosexuality, they respect me for being proud of who I am and for not hiding my true self. I love myself enough to be 100% true to who I am no matter what discrimination I may face. It has taken me a long time to get to this place of having such good relationship with myself, but I know all the hard work has been worth it.

It feels good to be able to face the fear of rejection of who I am and know that I am helping to open minds and challenge certain opinions. There is nothing wrong with being gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer and no none of this is a choice. I know that when I encounter discrimination it has nothing to do with me and is instead a relfection of the person who is discriminating against me.

Confidence is sexy and it looks good on people.

Mia