The other morning my friend Robyn and I met for brunch to enjoy delicious food while discussing love. I quickly explained the intention of the blog to Robyn and she began by telling me about her coming out experience.

She started by retelling me that when she began realizing that she was in fact a lesbian, true to her Gemini nature, she began researching coming out and being gay. At the age of 27 it dawned on her that  she was gay-something that had never occurred to her before. According to Robyn, 'I had no idea that I was gay until I kissed that girl.'

Over eggs, oatmeal, green chili and tea, Robyn and I discussed the idea of love-the love that breaks down all the pre-conceived notions of what a relationship should be and how one should act in a relationship.

Robyn discussed her current relationship and how at the age of 45, her fiancee challenged her in ways that she never knew to be possible. These challenges had a way of unwinding all of the protective shit that had been wrapped around her for years. Despite becoming unglued, if you will, by the sharing and revealing of self, and breaking down of walls, Robyn admitted this to be gift.

Allowing someone into your deepest, darkest, most painful secrets and life experiences can be scary to say the least, but the gift that Robyn was referring to was giving all of your self to your partner. True love is waking up next to someone without make-up, sleep in the eyes, complete with morning breath and having your partner smile and tell you that you are beautiful.

Being with another person, truly being with someone, is allowing for and accepting these moments. You can't wake up before the person to put on your make-up and brush those teeth everyday for the rest of your life, nor should you; you have to allow that person to see you for who you really are. Spending your life with someone, for the rest of your life will include sickness, tantrums, fights, mental breakdowns and morning breath. Allowing someone to see these moments and these sides of you, that is love.

One trick, Robyn revealed, is to go out and accept that love. Too many times do the pre-conceived notions and walls built from past experiences get in the way or prevent us from receiving the love that is presented to us. Making ourselves vulnerable and letting those walls down can be terrifying due to past judgement but allowing yourself to be loved is the key here. Remember that you are in fact worthy of that love.

In terms of being Out, Robyn admitted that she figured any event, advertised as gay or not, is gay if she arrives. It is gay enough if she is there. Robyn has written on the subject of pride and having and living pridefully Out after our designated weekend of celebrating, and she has had people respond that they are not defined by their sexuality. Although Robyn agrees with this statement, she argues that one reason why she lives so very Out is that because society stills assumes that people are heterosexual until proven otherwise. Sure there maybe other aspects to one's personality and lifestyle other than sexuality, but one's sexuality is still a very important part of the person and because of this one should in fact be prideful and Out.

Sure we still live in a society where some promote hate and pass judgement but part of having pride is being Out. As was said earlier, the love is there, even when it comes to living an Out lifestyle. Receive it! Go Out and grab the love!

Check out Robyn's BlogSpot at thejoyofbeingyou.blogspot.com

Robyn Vie-Carpenter