I knew I was gay since I was eight years old. I never acknowledged it because I came from a very religious background. I tried to ignore my feelings for many years and didn't come out till my sophomore year of college when I met my first girlfriend. I fell in love with her right away. It was by far the most passionate relationship I've ever been in. We were together for 3 1/2 years and I came out to my family after being with her for six months. After I came out to my family I was out in the open to everyone. I really didn't care anymore, I was happy and wanted important people in my life to know.

I've always been a Daddy's girl, so telling him was my first priority. I was extremely nervous and paced around for 45 minutes crying before I could spit anything out. He took it all very well and was very supportive about it. It wasn't what he wished for me, but he wanted me to be happy. My mom reacted in a complete opposite way. She basically disowned me for two years and told me I was going to Hell. The communication we had was usually Bible verses she would send me and telling me that family was praying for me to get better, as if I was sick.

My senior year of college my Grandma got really sick. She was diagnosed with 4th degree lung cancer, so I came home to take care of her. She was moved to hospice and my girlfriend came to Colorado with me to spend her last weeks with her. This experience opened my mother's eyes to the fact that we were really in love and it wasn't a phase. At my grandmother's wake my mother broke down and cried and apologized for everything. From then on our relationship has made a 180. She became supportive and one of my best friends.

After I graduated from Nebraska I decided to move back home to Colorado. My relationship had been on the rocks for awhile. I learned that in passionate relationships, when it's good it's amazing and when it's bad it's hell. We tried to do the long-distance thing for awhile, but it didn't work so we broke up. I was devastated.

I decided to quit dating for awhile. I took time to find myself for awhile and worked on myself. It was hard but it was one of the best decisions I could have made at the time. Communication between my ex was a roller coaster. I finally started to try dating again and I always had the fear that I would never love anyone as much again. I've had one serious girlfriend since then and I fell in love for a second time. Unfortunately it didn't work out due to two different maturity levels. She was in her college phase and I was focused on starting my career. It was a fairly clean break and overall a good relationship, but never reached the level of my first girlfriend.

After the breakup my rugby season started up again. At the same time my mom was going through a pretty nasty divorce with my stepdad. It was her third divorce so I was spending a lot of time with her, trying to help her through it. I knew that there was something funky going on because it seemed like she was hiding something from me.

My first game of the season my mom told me she was bringing one of her best friends from church. As soon as I got off the field my roommate said, "OMG who is that lesbian with your mom?!" 100 footer, easy.

So I gave it the benefit of the doubt and thought to myself, "they're probably just good friends." The 100 footer started hanging around all the time. My mom took me to lunch and asked me if I thought her friend was gay, clearly I said, "absolutely." My mom immediately went into defense mode, acting like she was surprised and weirded out by it. She asked me questions like, "How do I tell her this is not what I want? I'm not gay and just want to be friends." I told her that she can't just come at her and accuse her of being a lesbian if she hadn't opened up about it. I kind of just let it sit, then I got a call from my mom a month later and she was bawling her eyes out-I knew exactly was she was going to say. She broke down and apologized once again and she said, "I don't expect you to accept this about me, but I'm in love with Jenn."

It was hard for me to take at first due to the fact that she disowned me for two years. Her happiness was most important to me, so I forgave her and supported her new relationship. About two months later they "U-Hauled it" and moved in together and about a month and a half later, they were engaged. Now they've been together probably about 7 or 8 months, that I know about.

I asked her because I was curious if she had ever had these thoughts before because sometimes people who have the hardest time accepting other people who are gay because they themselves have thoughts and/or tendencies but are afraid to face them. She responded that she had never had those thoughts but after witnessing my first relationship, it had opened her up to the fact that you don't love someone for their gender, but for who they are. You fall in love with someone, gender completely aside.

I don't think my mom is gay, I think it was a timing thing. Jenn came into her life when she was going through a nasty divorce and was her best friend and supported her. I think my mom looked past the fact that she was a woman and began to take her guard down and get past the whole "I'm going to Hell" thing. She allowed herself to fall in love with this woman, gender aside.

When I see friends struggle with their families, this is often the story that inspires them that there is always hope. My mom was disgusted by me when I came out, but after seeing that love is love, her perspective on the world changed.

I've always had the attitude that I'm going to do what makes me happy, the people who accept it are people I want in my life and the people who don't are a waste of time. Family has always been my priority and I couldn't be happier that I never gave up on my mom.

Nicole